All posts tagged: connection

Overcoming Anxiety & Finding a Grounding Yoga Practice…

I’ve spent almost all of my adult life suffering with anxiety. I wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint it at the time, or even acknowledge that there was a problem, it just felt normal. Being in a crowd would lead to a panic attack. Taking a walk with my toddlers would be punctured with invasive catastrophic thoughts of them being squashed by cars or snatched by strangers. Walking my dogs alone, I’d be meandering down the thought train of ‘what if I’m murdered here? What if I fall down and break my leg and there’s no phone reception?’… These thoughts come and go, but what they leave is a bitter aftertaste of fear. It’s an incidious process which, if accepted for too long as normal, begins to restructure the experience of living. Imagine seeing clearly, and then being fitted with a pair of tinted glasses, after a while the tint becomes normal and the way we see the world becomes coloured accordingly. It’s only when you take the glasses off that you remember how light …

My Name is Lauren, I am a Recovering Bullshit Addict

A year ago I discovered I had cancer.  It took six months for shock to pass (aside from the physical recovery from major surgery), and a following four months of crazily energetic distraction to finally acknowledge how much fear, grief, loss, trauma & pain my family and I have gone through.  I am finally beginning to process those feelings and its taking everything I have (almost).  I emerge from a sleepy crying, snotty ball to teach yoga, to walk my dogs and to be with my family when they need me, all of which I love, and all of which are more than enough for me to deal with. Before cancer I was a Bullshit Addict.  I knew how to paint on a smile, I knew how to save you from my pain, my grief, my suffering and my desperate loneliness.  I was a hardcore pretender.  Bullshitting like my life depended on it, drowning my sorrows in smiles, and parties, and booze and home furnishings.  Before cancer I knew how to say ‘I’m fine’, when …